WEBSITE TERMS OF
USE
Wow! You actually came to this page. Our
lawyers made us include it and made us use a precious button on our
home page to get you here. At first, we thought the lawyers were a
real pain. But then we read the page. What a Netwakening! It's
really important stuff. We took the legalese the lawyers wrote and
translated it into readable English. So be a smart nethead and read
the stuff on this page. It could prevent you from hearing from our
lawyers, or worse yet, from really nasty people, like prosecutors.
Here's the deal:
We run this site so that people like you
(and people you like) can use it for personal entertainment,
information, education, communication, and cybergratification. So go
ahead and browse around all you like. You can even download stuff
from the site but only for non-commercial, personal use. If you do,
though, don't fool around with the copyright and other notices all
over the stuff. They're there for a really good reason. And don't
even think about distributing, modifying, transmitting, reusing,
re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of the stuff, including
the text, images, audio, and video, for public or commercial
purposes unless we give you written permission. And it's not likely
we will.
If you visit our site, you're also legally
obligated to [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions listed
below and any other law or regulation that applies to the site, the
Internet, the World Wide Web, or Los Angeles, CA. You shouldn't
access or browse the site if you have any problem with that, because
once you start, there's no turning back -- you are bound by [read:
stuck with] the terms and conditions.
So here's the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for
Cybersurfers who hang out on our site:
1. For everyone's sake, just assume
that everything on the site is copyrighted unless we say it's not.
So you can't use the stuff except how we say you can on this page or
anywhere else on the site without our written permission. And like
we said before, it's not likely we'll give you permission anyway. In
fact, even if we wanted to, the lawyers are likely to veto any deal
anyway. So it's better you don't even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate
stuff on the site, we're not promising you it's accurate. In fact,
we're not promising you anything except fun and entertainment. So if
you use stuff on the site, you're using it at your own risk. Don't
call us if there's a problem because we assume no liability or
responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.
3. We and anybody else who helped us
create, produce, or deliver the site are not liable for any damages
you suffer when you use it. In particular, the lawyers want you to
know that our disclaimer includes "direct, incidental,
consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your
access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing,
everything on the site is provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY
OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED
TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may not
allow the exclusion of implied warranties, so some of the above
exclusions may not apply to you. Check your local laws for any
restrictions or limitations regarding the exclusion of implied
warranties. " Ugh! What a mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put all
of that in quotes because we couldn't figure out any other way to
say it that the lawyers would accept. But here's the bottom line --
we're not responsible if you're browsing around and the site damages
you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses. We sure
hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, don't call us.
4. If you don't want the world to know
something, don't post in on the site in any bulletin board or
anyplace else. That's because anything you disclose to us is ours.
That's right -- ours. So we can do anything we want with the stuff
you post. We can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it,
broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We can even send it to
your mother (as soon as we find her address). Not only that, we can
even use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any
way we want to, including, developing, manufacturing and marketing
products or other stuff using the information you post.
5. Pictures of people or places shown
on the site are either our property or someone else's property we're
using with their permission. No matter what, it's definitely not
your property. You or any of your net-friends can't use it unless we
said you could on this page or somewhere else on the site. And guess
what -- we won't say yes. So be careful, Bunky, because unauthorized
use may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep the stuff
you download to yourself.
6. There's also a lot of trademarks,
logos, and service marks on the site that either we own or we're
using with someone else's permission. So don't think you have any
kind of license or right to use them, because you don't and we're
not about to give you one. If you don't leave them alone and mess
with our trademarks, logos and service marks on our site, we'll
probably go ballistic, so will the companies that own the other
trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that we're likely to
sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing around
with our property or the property of others.
7. You'll probably notice we've linked
our site to lots of others. While that's cool, it doesn't mean we've
looked at all those sites, much less checked them out periodically
to see what's going on. So don't blame us if some site you link to
is bad or has stuff on it that offends you or your pets. Go ahead
and link, but remember, you're doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on our
own site. While we occasionally listen in on chat groups, or look at
the posting in our discussion groups or on our bulletin boards, we
take no responsibility and assume no liability for the content of
those locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander,
omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you
might encounter when you visit such places on our site. And don't be
stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening,
libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory,
pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any material that
law enforcement types may consider a criminal offense, get someone
in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law --
anywhere, anytime. While we certainly respect your privacy, we have
no choice but to fully cooperate with any law enforcement
authorities or court which might ask us who might have posted nasty
stuff on our site.
9. Software that we use on this Site is
protected by all sorts of patriotic U.S. laws. Because of that, you
can't download or send the software to anyone in the vacation travel
spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Iran, Syria, or any other
country where United States has embargoed goods; or (get this) to
anyone on the United States Treasury Department's list of Specially
Designated Nationals, the U.S. Commerce Department's Table of Deny
Orders, or the FBI's Most Wanted Internet Creeps List (just kidding
on the last one). As if that were not tough enough, if you live in
or are a national of any of those lovely places, you're not even
supposed to be reading this page, so beat it!
10. We're also allowed to change this
page and anything else on the site any time we want to. That's
because it's ours and we have the programmers who can do it. If we
do change the page, then you're bound by [read: stuck with] those
changes, too, whenever you visit our site.
11. If either of us wants to make
something of it and wants to “sue” (a dirty word) then we have to
follow these rules of engagement. (sort of according to the Geneva
Convention):
This Agreement is governed by the laws of
the State of Michigan, without regard to principles of conflict of
laws.
To the extent you have in any manner
violated or threatened to violate MasterCreditScore.comand/or its
affiliates' intellectual property rights, MasterCreditScore.comand/or
its affiliates may seek injunctive or other appropriate relief in
any state or federal court in the State of Michigan, and you consent
to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such courts.
Any other disputes will be resolved as
follows:
If a dispute arises under this agreement, we
agree to first try to resolve it with the help of a mutually
agreed-upon mediator in the following location: Auburn Hills,
Michigan. Any costs and fees other than attorney fees associated
with the mediation will be shared equally by each of us.
If it proves impossible to arrive at a
mutually satisfactory solution through mediation, we agree to submit
the dispute to binding arbitration at the following location: Auburn
Hills, Michigan, under the rules of the American Arbitration
Association. Judgment upon the award rendered by the arbitration may
be entered in any court with jurisdiction to do so.
If this all sounds kind of mean and
undiplomatic, you should have seen what the lawyers gave to us in
the first place. We had to remind them that human torture and
sacrifice was outlawed in the United States. Boy, did they look
disappointed!
November 01, 2009
MasterCreditScore.com
This
Legal Document Was Produced Using AutoWebLaw
